As I state on my homepage, I am in a state of flux. This can unsettle me. I thrive on structure and am challenged by my present lack of a career plan. Here is a look at where my plans have been, and how I am addressing my occasional unease.

In elementary school, I thought I wanted to be a veterinarian. It’s a great answer to the question “what do you want to do when you grow up?” Ranking right up there with doctor, teacher, and lawyer, parents and educators smile and say that’s a fine idea, and you’re safe until college.

Prior to the start of college, I decided to follow a path more outdoors related. I thought “conservation biology – that’s where I will make my mark.” (In the meantime, “conservation biology” became “wildlife biology,” but that is a minor detail.) I could become a researcher and university professor. Again, smiling approval from those around me, and I felt more certain of this direction, until Fall 2011.

Faced with an upcoming graduation, I began to apply to PhD programs in wildlife biology. As I did so, I began to think globally about the decisions I was making. If I was going to pursue a PhD for 3-5 years, my course of study would very likely determine the course of my career. This was an uncomfortable revelation. Uncomfortable first because I had a sense I was not wholly taken by any of the projects I applied to, and second because without those projects, my plan forward became uncertain.

Fast-forward to fall 2012. I completed my master’s degree in August and work almost full-time for the US Play Coalition. Most days, I feel like I must be one of the happiest people in Clemson – I have a job I enjoy, a fantastic boss, good friends, a sense of belonging and of being needed. I finally have time to read books, blog, go to football games, go out to eat, watch TV and movies, and more. Still, moments of doubt creep up, and I question my decision to stay. In large part this doubt is fed by knowing the overwhelming majority of people around me are students “progressing” toward a degree, and I am not. The juxtaposition causes me to feel as though I have stalled.

Then in a timely moment, I read this article: Gala Girl. Now I see that I have not “stalled” or stopped “progressing,” rather, I am “developing myself.” I am building career skills, from budget forecasting to strategic planning to serving customers to developing products. When I succumb to doubt, I diminish my ability to fully engage with these opportunities. Thus, my new goal is to maintain a perspective of self development, which will take reminding from time to time, but now I have this post to help me do that.